What’s really in a name? Why do some people feel compelled to change theirs, but others remain comfortable with their given name for their whole life. I’ve recently been feeling huge stress over having my name reverted back to my birth name and am curious as to why it’s triggering me so much? What difference does it really make if I’m called Samantha or Sam? Well to me, it makes a whole world of difference.

My name defines me. It’s as much a part of me as the colour of my eyes or the skin on my body. It’s who I am and represents how I show up in the world. It’s my connection to everything I embody – the people and communities I align with, the planet around me, my personal history and even my ancestral lineage. It’s my identity – what makes me, me! My thoughts, feelings and experiences are all wrapped up in my name. Together with my voice, they all carry my personal vibration. It’s as much the essence of me, as an essential oil is to a flower.

Because of this crazy bureaucratic world we live in, I am being told by Healy that my name has to be changed to Samantha because that’s what is displayed on my birth certificate. The mere fact that I have been registered with the company for seven months as Sam seems by-the-by. I’ve always known I didn’t like being referred to as Samantha, but what I didn’t realise was that it was such a huge trigger for me. Turns out it is! So in a bid to try and fathom why, I have been doing a lot of meditating and journaling and this is the conclusion I’ve come to…

I feel I’ve had to fight to be heard all my life, and now, by having the name that I am know by on a daily basis changed without my consent, it feels like an unravelling of all the work I’ve done to reach the point in life where I currently am. If someone was to call out Samantha in the street I wouldn’t bat an eyelid, but if I hear Sam, I automatically glance up to see if they are referring to me. It’s a natural reaction, and one shared by the majority of people I imagine.

I appreciate that legally, for the banking side, my details need to correlate with my official documents, however I cannot believe that in this day and age, and with a global company so focused on resonance, that there is nothing in place to add a ‘preferred’ name to the database. This addition surely makes little difference to you, but it makes ALL the difference to me!! You are making me feel powerless. Which is exactly the opposite of the current ‘Cosmic Growth’ experiment you are running with us all.

Life segments

I see my life very much in three stages on the journey towards my authentic self. I was christened Samantha, spent my childhood being referred to as Sammi and then made the conscious decision to align with Sam when I left home. And now, with all the inner work I’ve done over the years, pre and post Healy choosing to come into my life, and the deep fascia release work I have been focusing on recently, I can see this more clearly than ever. I have no significant or happy memories associated with Samantha. I just do not resonate with this name in the slightest.

School day anguish

At school I always particularly hated the the start of a new academic year because they would revert back to my birth name in the register, and it would take a good few weeks before the teachers had familiarised themselves with everyone’s preferred names and were using them regularly. So in some ways, the whole of my school life felt like I was in an annual ground hog day. I’d spend a school year defining who I was amongst my peers, building friendships and connections and then the next year I felt like I was starting over from that same birth place (or ground zero) rather than building on the previous years accomplishments.

Why now?

Recently, I’ve been asked on more than one occasion why this is only surfacing now? And the truth is, I’m not really sure. I guess until I started peeling back the layers, I didn’t realise how strongly I felt about it. It might seem a bit of a contradiction, but I can deal with seeing Samantha on an official document like my passport, because it’s just a faceless piece of paper. I don’t associate it with me, it’s just something society feels we all need to have. It doesn’t define me, not the real me anyway.

To clarify, I’m not asking for Healy to change any of the official side of my registration with the company, all I’m asking for is that they include an extra box for a preferred name to be registered. Surely it’s my right to self expression.

By not allowing this, I feel I’m being silenced. They are taking away my choice of how I wish to be known. How I choose to show up in the world each day. What is the point of me doing all the inner work, if every day I sit down to open my emails I am faced with numerous correspondences addressed to Samantha! Every one of those is chipping away a tiny piece of the good I’ve done to-date.

I am already choosing not to read the emails they are sending through, because why would I consciously choose to read something that triggers me?! Why would I choose to willingly open correspondence that I know is going to make me feel small and insignificant, as though my voice and opinion don’t matter.

I thought Healy was different. I thought you were all about seeing the bigger picture, the need for change in this world. The right to find a better work/life balance, to find financial freedom and sovereignty. So how is this situation any different?

For me, my path to sovereignty is being able to express my authentic truth, to tell people how much I love the Healy devices and how much I respect the company’s ethos, but all of that is slowly crumbling. You are taking the shine out of this amazing tool for me and putting up blocks where there previously weren’t any. In a world where we are striving to remove the energetic blocks from our bio energetic field in order to meet our original blueprint, I find it quite ironic that you are literally erecting a huge brick wall around me. I feel smothered, unheard and deeply frustrated.

My original blueprint is Sam – this is where I have been journeying towards for the last 50 years. This is where I can fully express myself. Not as Samantha, but as Sam! The name I have been embracing and leaning into for the last 25 years. The name I have been embodying and aligning with for all my adult life. To me, Sam has power. Its stripped back to the bare essence of the full name. Its simple, and this is exaclty what I’m all about.

For seven months you’ve had no problem sending out all my correspondence as Sam, the name I chose to register with you as. But suddenly, the moment I sell a Healy and start to finally feel I’ve grown enough to launch my business and start to build my own team, you knock me back by insisting all my global data reverts to Samantha overnight.

Yes it’s frustrating enough seeing Samantha on emails, but I can still make a conscious choice not to open them. However, having seen that my name has also changed in the Coach module is the final straw.

Every instinct in me says re-recording my vibration whilst looking at Samantha written under my picture feels wrong. It throws up all sorts of inner conflicts. It doesn’t feel like it’s recording the true essence of who I am now. It feels like it would be recording the old me. The me I’ve moved on from. The one I’ve thanked for the lessons, but chosen to leave behind. If this is how I’m feeling, then how can I be giving off the clearest vibration of who I am.

Please help me understand what the harm is in respecting my wishes to address me by my chosen name. As Stefan Zweig says,

’Names have a mysterious transforming power. Like a ring on a finger, a name may at first seem merely accidental, committing you to nothing; but before you realise it’s magical power, it’s gotten under your skin, become part of you and your destiny.’